So, hello again everybody <3 I haven't updated at all for the last few weeks, so I'll try to catch up with things by posting some pictures.
I think chronologically this picture comes first~ In fact, on the 4th of April or something the 4th installment of my beloved Mortal Instrument series was released, and I spent most of April waiting fot it. I ordered it from an American bookstore, because nerdy me wanted the copy that came not only with a special letter from one of the book's characters but also signed by the author personally. Imagine me jumping and dancing through the room screaming happily when it finally arrived on the 30th of April~
These should come next. On the 14th of May I went to the club I usually go to (50 Grad) with my sister and some friends. When I met them at the Rhine river, where we wanted to drink a little before going to the club, they where with a guy I went to school with. We used to be in the same biology advanced course and even though we weren't like, really good friends, I was somehow really happy to see him. I guess it just feels good to be reminded of the good old high school days sometimes, because I really enjoyed them. He used to sit one row behind me in biology and I helped him pass his final exams xD
Anyway, as the pictures may show I ened up being quite drunk, but I had tons of fun and my sister and I get along better then ever.
This is just some random outfit shot. I actually wanted to take a few for my blogger, but I always forget, so that's the only one you get for now. Not that it's all that interesting to know what I wear, but I like to see outfit shots on other people's blog. So here we have me with an H&M top, H&M leggings, a Primark jacket, the bag is from Heaven & Earth and the shoes from No Fall. Haha. Yep, I like to combine cheap stuff.
This is, I think, kind of the best thing that happened in the past weeks - Hape Kerkeling came to our university! It seems like the Spiegel magazine does live interviews like this at my university once a year (last year they interviewed Anke Engelke!). I had to wait for four hours, but it was definitely worth it. We were the few of the about 2000 students who wanted to see him who managed to get seats (there were about 800 seats). Hape Kerkeling was really funny and talked quite openly about his career, the characters he invented, his private life and his past.
This awesome picture arised when my father and I were invited over to Marie's to have BBQ with her and her mother. We ate incredibly delicious food and except for me everyone consumed quite a lot of sparkling wine and wine. We told each other funny anecdotes from our pasts and laughed a lot. We definitely have to repeat that at my place ♥
The sparkling wine in the picture was a present Marie's mom received at work, and despite it's pink colour it didn't taste sweet at all but actually quite good, haha.
On the 24th of May was the birthday of my father's new wife who lives in Saarland (yep, they'e having something like a long-distance marriage-thing going on), which is like 2hours by car from where I live. Even though it was a weekday my father decided to drive there with me and my sisters for the evening to celebrate her birthday. So we drove there for 2 hours, surprised her - and she was actually really happy, I think she nearly cried - drove to a lake where we ate at a restaurant and took a short walk around the lake - and as you can see the sunset was really pretty. Then we drove back home for 2 hours and all fell into bed dircetly and really tired.
Yesterday I decided to bake a cake, just like this, - the cheese cake - and my father decided to make a strawberry tarte and we had real delicious cake and coffee in our lovely garden ♥
Other than that I'm quite occupied with my studies and watching Dramas (I'll try to write a short review about Sweet 18, the last Korean drama I finished) and meeting my dear ♥ friends xD Recently everyone seems to be coming home from overseas, especially some really good friends of mine. Tomorrow I'll meet Susanne who spent the past year in LA for breakfast and on Friday I'll meet up with Nadine who came back from England after finishing her studies there. I'm re-watching Mary Stayed Out All Night with Marie and hope to be watching some Dramas together with Nadine soon! So, enough for today. Let's just hope for this summer to be a wonderful one~
So, the thing with my ex is finally over and I guess I'm trying to make it official for myself by writing about it here... He's got a new girl, he decided against talking to me and I'm definitely not going to try to force him into it. If he doesn't want to talk to me that's one more proof that it wasn't meant to be. And... Most surprisingly I'm fine with it. After all that happened it just didn't come as a shock. I'll find someone who actually treats me well and loves even my bad sides about me.
Other than that university life's fun so far. I've come to like some of the girls quite a lot, which I didn't think was possible, because at first I thought they were all arrogant and stupid, but it turned out they're not at all and before I knee it I started to think differently about them.
Oh, and did you see my wonderful new header? I did it myself today after getting back my own laptop a few days ago. I cut out all the pictures myself and put them together to a collage. I tried to use only pics of people and things I love. :D
Anyway, I'll try to write again soon and post some pictures because looking at pictures is much more interesting than reading only text :P trying to sleep and not dream about hin tonight. If that works out I can be sure I'm over him. Goodnight <3
Hello to everyone! Recently I was so busy with university that I hardly had any time to make use of my blog... Plus I'm still using my mother's laptop, because mine is being repaired. I won't be able to make a nice design and personalize my blog further until I don't get my own laptop back...
In addition to that I forgot my camera in Leverkusen, so I'm still not able to at least post some nice pictures. But yes, I visited Eli in Leverkusen last weekend. We had a big get-together with all the Japan-girls, meaning all the girls which traveled to Japan for holiday or spent an exchange year and/or working holiday there.
Some arrived on Friday, but Marie and I went there on Saturday and met with everyone in Düsseldorf. While the others went shopping or already to Elena's, Marie and I met up with Marius, an old friend of ours who went to Japan with the same exchange organisation as we did.
Afterwards we went back to Elena's to have BBQ with everyone. It was really nice, we drank lots of alcohol and talked and ate... I just went to bed a little earlier than the others, because I was really tired, but no one seemed to be angry with me, so it was fine.
The next morning we all had a very relaxed breakfast in Elena's wonderful garden enjoying the weather. But since Astrid and I had to go to university the next day and Maria had to work, the three of us left Elena's at about 3pm to head back to our respective home towns :D
And now to my personal issues. Please skip this of you're not interested, it's mostly for myself, anyways. So, as you know I'm a passionate listener of music and like to transfer lyrics on my own life to get a hold on what's going on. At the moment I'm connecting the song Kansas by Vienna Teng on my latest failed relationship...
This it the song. It's really beautiful and there's much more behind the lyrics than you think when listening to it for the first time. I think it's about someone reminiscing about a failed relationshiop and realising how the relationship and its failed end pushed that person into some kind of abysmal status, searching desperetaly for something to hold on to.
Sun sets in an ocean of brown farmland haze
Power lines draped across roads you could drive on for days
Well it's all too perfect
Time to look back at us now
This is the introduction and the cause for the reminiscing. A calm, but seemingly endlessly expanding landscape with no mountains or buildings to spend shelter or the feeling of safety, but in its endlesness it's perfect, because it grands time and space to think about what's in the past. It's the same for the lyrical I... she's (I'm using she, because Vienna Teng is female) lost the bottom beneath her feet, there's nothing to hold on to, so she starts reminiscing about the past.
Endless and empty like Kansas
Our cities of clouds
Flat on the table like Kansas
But apparently it's not only the landscape that's endless and empty, but something else also is. "Our cities of clouds" is something that once belonged to the lyrical I and the person she loved. But cities of clouds are nothing real, they're not something you can live in or build on. As soon as you touch them, they will crumble or vanish in front of your eyes, and so they are "flat on the table like Kansas", because as they had to, they have vanished now. They based their relationship on something they should've known wouldn't last. So now, all the lyrical I can look back on to is a flat landscape like Kansas and the memory of cities.
But still, cities of clouds must be impressive and gorgeous. If you imagine for example rain clouds or clouds that carry thunder, how they pile up on to each other... but they also forebode storm, and therefore destruction. So even though the lyrical I and her love might not have noticed while being blinded by there impressive cities of clouds, there relationship was bound to fail in the end.
I lay down in sheets suddenly worn threadbare
Every wall I lean on transforms to sliding doors and thin air
Well I hope yours is kinder
Let go of this when you find her
This stanza describes the current state of mind of the lyrical I. She suddenly doesn't feel well in her sheets anymore, she doesn't feel well in her well known environment, she suddenly feels odd in her own skin. She feels threadbare, which can also imply that she suddenly feels old, or even tired from burning herself out for something, maybe for guilt or for her fight to move on. That she's lost the bottom beneath her feet is implied by the second line. It quite clearly expresses that the lyrical I has lost her feeling of safety in life. Now we also get an impression about what the lyrical I feels for her past love. She hopes that he doesn't feel the same, that he can deal better with what happened between the two of them. She also wants him to let go of "this" when he finds "her", which I think means that she wants him to be able to move on and to stop thinking about herself when he finds someone else he loves. But it also implies that she thinks he's still clinging on to their past relationship in some way.
Bury this hard
Down underneath your white canvas
Our houses of cards
Flat on the table like Kansas
The first line I think can be understood in two ways. Written there is "hard", but when sung it can also be heard as "heart". I think she wants to express two things with this. First of all she wants him to bury "this" which in one case can be seen as the relationship they shared, as in the previous stanza. This would imply that she wants him to bury there relationship strongly, hard underneath his white canvas. In the other case she wants him to bury his and/or her heart underneath his white canvas. If their hearts stand for the relationship they shared this only doubles the meaning of burying what's happened among them underneath a white canvas, meaning burying it beneath something neutral, new, something that has not been used yet. She doesn't want him to look back on their relationship with longing, regret or hate.
There's one more possibility, though. If she wants him to bury her heart beneath his white canvas, this could also imply, that she's lost her heart to him forever and wants him to bury it beneath something neutral so he doesn't throw it away or tramples on it.
The houses of cards have basically the same meaning as the cities of clouds in the previous stanza, but houses of cards are much less impressive than cities of clouds, so maybe she knew how fragile their relationship was back then after all.
It's not regret
Just an unexpected accounting of debts
Only now called
No it's not regret
Just remembrance is all
Of how close we had come
The war almost won
But I sent up our flag and moved on
Now she explains exactly how she feels about their past relationship. "It's not regret", so she doesn't regret having been with him or having built this obviously fragile and bound to fall cities and houses with him, but it's an "accounting of debts" that she feels. But she realised it's there just now, apparently some time after their break-up. Her debt is, that after they had come very close, "the war almost won", meaning that they were near to master all the obstacles that usually lie in front of young relationships, she had sent up their flag and moved on. She broke up with him, and seeing that she spoke of cities of clouds and houses of cards before, she probably knew all along that she was gonna break up with him, no matter how good he was to her or how much she loved him. That is her debt, and the remembrance of this haunts her now, taking the bottom away beneath her feet.
You and I
Lost to the winter like Kansas
And all my goodbyes
Flat on the table like Kansas
Finally she unfolds how she feels now, after having realised everything, about her debt, her disorientation in life. "Lost to the winter like Kansas" implies that she knows that what's been between them is lost. "You and I" doesn't exist anymore, it belongs to the winter in Kansas now, which will probably wear it out and never give it back. But interesting are the last two lines. All her goodbyes are flat on the table like Kansas. They crumbled and vanished just like the houses of cards and cities of clouds. I think this means, that even though she was the one who said goodbye, who sent up their flag and moved on, her goodbyes don't have any meaning anymore. Even though she knows she can never get back what was betwee the two of them, because it's lost forever, she realised that she never really ended the relationship for herself. The goodbyes she said don't exist anymore. She realised just now that she never got over her love, that she's lost and without any walls to lean on without him. She acted the strong one, destroying what they had, deciding to move on, without ever really moving on. But because she knows it's over she at least wishes for him to feel better than her and bury their relationship, to find someone he really loves. She maybe does this to reduce her debt. Her debt to him on the one side, because she treated him badly, and to herself on the other side, because she now has to deal with the consequences of losing him and therefore the bottom beneath her feet.
Well, that is at least what my interpretation of this song is and I hope I managed to write it so it can stand alone, set apart from my personal connection to what I feel about the lyrics and the song.
But I think this is enough for today. <3 Good night~
So, out of an acute lack of clothes for the current warm weather period I spontaneously decided to pay a visit to H&M and Zara today. On the left you can see what I got at H&M. It's a long beige cardigan from the "Conscious Collection", which means it'sp arty made of organic cotton. The white clouse is from that collection as well. The black thing you can see is a simple black cotton leggings... I already owned some, but after detecting three holes I had to throw them away. At Zara I bought another cardigan in a darker shade of beige and some of these trousers that are wide in the crotch and tight around the ankles. They are really comfortable to wear, so I bought a pair. But, being stupid as I am, I tried on two different sizes, 38 and 36. Since I already lost quite a lot of weight and Zara trousers tend to be a little bit bigger than labeled the ones in 36 fit perfectly.
But stupid me ended up giving back the wrong size and buying the ones in 38... yay for me. Gotta go back zo Zara tomorrow or on Saturday and replace them. Well, except for this little incident I'm quite happy with what I got, because it was exactly what I needed. Of course I could've needed some more, but there weren't any other pretty things at H&M and Zara. That's why I placed a small order at Yesstyle and bought two tops there. I hope I won't have to pay customs duty for just two tops...
Anyway, university life started off for real this week and up to now I think I quite like it. People are nice, some of my lectures are really interesting and all in all I have the feeling I made the right choice with my major. I'm not so sure about my minor, though... I've attended one lecture so far and I have to admit that it is interesting, but I'm not quite sure whether it'll to me any good in my future job goals. How important is the minor anyways when it comes to getting a job? I just wish someone could tell me, then I knew whether to change my minor to something more connected with communication studies, like sociology or political science. Well, I'll have to wait until winter anyways, so I'll just try to attend some lectures of the two subjects I just mentioned and hope I'll be able to make up my mind until next semester. Well, I'm off to watching another episode of "Sweet 18", the Korean drama I'm watching at the moment. Good night everyone~
So, today I finished another Drama I've been watching for about four months now, namely Chuno. It's a historical Drama about slave hunters in the 15th century in Korea. The Drama combines a few different storylines which all lead together in the end. One of them is about Lee Dae Gil and his companions, "General" Choi and Lee Wang Son. The three of them are slave hunters, who catch run-away slaves for the nobles and get paid very well for their work. Seemingly, they would do anything for money, but with Dae Gil having his own history as a noble who once was in love with a slave, things are much more complicated than that. Dae Gil is, after eight years of separation, still searching for the slave he once was in love with, Kim Hye Won, though in the beginning it's hard to tell whether he is seeking her out of revenge, because her brother is responsible for his whole family perishing in a fire, or because he is still in love with her. Later on they take the young Seol Hwa into their group, who was part of a dancing troupe and forced to sell her body starting from a young age. She eventually falls in love with Dae Gil.
The three slave hunters take on the job to hunt down the run-away slave Song Tae Ha, a former general who is trying to save the youngest crown prince and who longs to change the world for the better. What the slave hunters don't know is that with taking on the job of hunting Song Tae Ha, they meddle with state issues they shouldn't get involved in.
Eventually even Kim Hye Won, whose brother bought them out of slavery, appears and ends up fleeing together with Song Tae Ha.
In addition to the story of the slave hunters and the state affairs, the life of the slaves themselves and them dealing with their destiny is told. Here, the story of Eop Bok and Cho Bok is told. They are both slaves who tried to run away and were caught, so they are now marked as slaves with a tattoo on their faces. So, all in all, a story of romance, revenge, state affairs, history, revolution and tons of drama is told - sounds good, doesn't it?
And of course, it is. But with a whole of 24 episodes á one hour each the drama is too long, and after a good and interesting start it gets boring and repetitive for quite a few episodes. In the end, it gets really exciting again, but that still doesn't make up for the boring and frustrating episodes in the middle. If you want to give this Drama a try, don't hesitate to skip a few scenes in the middle, you won't miss out on that much.
My other critique is that the characters of Song Tae Ha and especially Kim Hye Won are kind of weak. The acting is awesome, but the characters aren't strong. Song Tae Ha is so naive it's unrealistic at times and Kim Hye Won's character is simply paradox and not very authentic, which disappointed me a lot because I mainly watched the Drama because of Lee Da Hae, who is playing Kim Hye Won.
But still, this Drama being a high budget production with amazing actors, an overall amazing story and overall amazing characters, it's definitely worth watching. Plus even if you're not that interested in history, you'll definitely learn something about the 15th century Korea and slavery at that time. And the fighting scenes are just divine. If you're not afraid of the many episodes, please do give this Drama a try! But be warned, I shed at least a million tears, especially in the latter half. On mydramalist.info I rated it with 4/5 stars.
So, from Dramas back to real life. Recently I've lost about 4kg (making 8kg I lost since January), so I'm trying hard to keep on the good track. Today, I ate this lovely salad (from Rewe, haha) and lovingly added the chicken (from Aldi, haha). Still, it was very delicious and healthy~ But later this evening I ended up eating a bar of chocolate, so yeah whatever. Anyway, since my father is a passionate jogger he provided me with jogging shoes, a jogging jacket and jogging shorts from Aldi. The shoes I already inaugurated (they made me jog twenty minutes withoung pausing in between!), but I still need to wear my cool shorts and my stylish jacket. I plan on persuading my sister to go jogging with me tomorrow. If she doesn't... well I'll just go alone then, because I definitely need to make up for the chocolate I ate today.
On another note, university is finally going to start on Monday. This week was the introduction week, so I went to the introduction events of the subjects I'm going to study (I plan to major in communication studies and minor in cultural anthropology, though I'm not too sure about my minor yet). There were also some events for the freshmen. I went to a pub crawl on Wednesday, which was very nice and funny besides the fact that I was really, really drunk from a little wine and sparkling wine. But I got to know my fellow students much better and got lots of information from our seniors. I'm really excited for university life to start, though I'm also anxious... but that's only normal, I guess? At the moment I'm just telling myself that I like... shouldn't try "too hard", and just take it as it comes. Because I have the feeling if I try too hard to make new friends, too hard to finally get a boyfriend, too hard to be the best at studying, I'll just fail at everything. Of course I'm still planning to give it my best, but I need to relax more.
So... I still didn't get the adapter for my camera, so the picture of the salad was taken with my iPhone, but for now the quality is good enough, what do you think?
I'm planning to take lots more pictures of my life from now on and put them into this blog, because I think it looks nice and looking at the pictures while writing always inspirates me <3
Last but not least I just got the happy news from Eli that my ex-boyfriend (who I happen to be still in love with) finally broke up with his girlfriend. I knew biding my time and waiting for them to break up was good, now I only need to get him back. Anyway, with this evil mastermind plan in mind I'll go to sleep and have lots of happy dreams. Good night everyone <3
Since absolutely everybody from my former friendslist and livejournal seems to have switched to Blogspot I felt kind of inclined to switch here myself. As I can't seem to keep on blogging constantly on livejournal when non of my friends blog anymore, I thought things might get better if I came here.
From now on I want to make this a blog with lots of pictures, including fashion related, food related and everyday life related pictures and topics. I hope this will give me some motivation to keep on blogging once and for all. Be warned though, this blog will also contain ranting about my studies and personal life.
So the first step to get all of this started is to get my camera to work, which it won't until I do not get the adapter from my lovely neighbour Marie.
Ah, one more thing before I get going: There will be some language switching between English, German, Japanese and hopefully also a little Korean. I suppose 80% of my posts will be in English, though.
I think chronologically this picture comes first~ In fact, on the 4th of April or something the 4th installment of my beloved Mortal Instrument series was released, and I spent most of April waiting fot it. I ordered it from an American bookstore, because nerdy me wanted the copy that came not only with a special letter from one of the book's characters but also signed by the author personally. Imagine me jumping and dancing through the room screaming happily when it finally arrived on the 30th of April~
These should come next. On the 14th of May I went to the club I usually go to (50 Grad) with my sister and some friends. When I met them at the Rhine river, where we wanted to drink a little before going to the club, they where with a guy I went to school with. We used to be in the same biology advanced course and even though we weren't like, really good friends, I was somehow really happy to see him. I guess it just feels good to be reminded of the good old high school days sometimes, because I really enjoyed them. He used to sit one row behind me in biology and I helped him pass his final exams xD
This is, I think, kind of the best thing that happened in the past weeks - Hape Kerkeling came to our university! It seems like the Spiegel magazine does live interviews like this at my university once a year (last year they interviewed Anke Engelke!). I had to wait for four hours, but it was definitely worth it. We were the few of the about 2000 students who wanted to see him who managed to get seats (there were about 800 seats). Hape Kerkeling was really funny and talked quite openly about his career, the characters he invented, his private life and his past. 
This awesome picture arised when my father and I were invited over to Marie's to have BBQ with her and her mother. We ate incredibly delicious food and except for me everyone consumed quite a lot of sparkling wine and wine. We told each other funny anecdotes from our pasts and laughed a lot. We definitely have to repeat that at my place ♥
On the 24th of May was the birthday of my father's new wife who lives in Saarland (yep, they'e having something like a long-distance marriage-thing going on), which is like 2hours by car from where I live. Even though it was a weekday my father decided to drive there with me and my sisters for the evening to celebrate her birthday. So we drove there for 2 hours, surprised her - and she was actually really happy, I think she nearly cried - drove to a lake where we ate at a restaurant and took a short walk around the lake - and as you can see the sunset was really pretty. Then we drove back home for 2 hours and all fell into bed dircetly and really tired.
